why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
