Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
