I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
