party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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