Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
