please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
