I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
