were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
