she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
