Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
