i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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