i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
