what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
