I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
only you would photoshop your dick
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
