so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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