Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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