What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
