Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I came so hard my ears popped.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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