I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
