I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
