I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is it penis luge time yet?
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
