so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
