I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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