"it" just moved
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
love makes seman taste better
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
