Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He better not be in your backpack
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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