I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
