I heard we made out
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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