Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
