? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
