I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
