its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Your cock deserves a montage
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just pee around me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
