all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i think i just lost a toe
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
