You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
