another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Are we still banned from the library?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
