you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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