I could have mohawked her pubes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
