He uses pillows to masturbate.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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