So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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