Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She needs sedatives and a leash
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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