xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
