i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
