He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
