You really coming over, don't trick.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
