When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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