is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize