Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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