i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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