Just took my morning after pill in the library
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
