My first STD was from a foam party
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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