Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
