my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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