Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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